A Holiday To Remember
by Evelyn Nyx
Summary: Sometimes Christmas has a way of mending even the most broken hearts. For Harry and friends, it will be a holiday to remember! And yes, Draco gets into the spirit of Christmas too, though not entirely willing, of course.[SLASH CedricHarry]
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter characters, they all belong to the goddess that is JK Rowling! I have no money, for I am a penniless writer, and shall probably stay that way forever. XD

AN: Hello everyone! Before you go onto this story, I need to clear a few things first. First of all, in Harry's Fourth Year, Cedric will be in his last year. I know most of you are going... ? but, to make sure what year he was in I went online and people are debating whether he was in sixth or seventh, so…in my story, it'll be his last year when Harry was in his Fourth Year! Glad we got that out of the way.

Second, this is slash. Don't like, don't read, mmkay?

Onto the story!

* * *

A Holiday to Remember

He sat alone in his apartment, the sound of Vivaldi playing softly throughout the room. The sun had fallen and the moon had taken its place. He ran his hand through his hair and gave a soft sigh, frustrated that he couldn't sleep and despondent because he couldn't forget. The nightmares didn't always haunt him in his sleep, but when he felt it was the time to move on it would come back, plaguing him with the bittersweet memories.

This night not only made him lose sleep, but it also made him realize that you cannot forget the past no matter how hard you try, and that sometimes the past won't let you forget. He doesn't understand why he can't let it go. Most people would have moved on by now. But he wasn't most people, and he had gone through more than what most people had. Not only was it a memory that plagued him, it was a secret.

Perhaps it is time for a confession.

His hand moved towards the Muggle phone nearby, and he dialed a number quickly. He waited patiently for an answer.

"Hello?"

"Hermione, it's Harry."

"Harry! How are you?" Hermione asked, hiding her worry. She could tell by the tone of his voice that something was wrong. And not only did he sound different, he never called at this time of the night.

"I need you to come over…I mean, when you have the time of course." Hermione gave a small smile. Leave it to Harry to always put others before himself.

"I'll be right over, Harry." She hung up and flooed to his house, and tried to hide her apprehension. She saw him sitting in his favorite leather chair, holding a glass of wine.

"Harry?" She asked. He looked horrible; bags were noticeable under his eyes, and the familiar emerald green was now a dull shade. His hair was in the usual disarray.

"Take a seat," he whispered, and she took a seat across from him, trying not to force whatever he was trying to say out of him.

"There's something I have to tell you. Something I haven't told anyone." Hermione studied him closely. She tried to figure out what he was trying to tell her, but she was very lost. Although Harry was his usual cheerful and funny self most of the time, she noticed a change in him during holidays or get togethers…she always thought he was sad because of losing his parents and Sirius, but now to hear him say he had a secret…it threw all the assumptions she had out the window.

"What is it, Harry?" She said in a comforting voice, "You can tell me." She reached over and took his hand in hers, and gave him a small smile. He smiled back and squeezed her hand.

"Do you remember the Tri-Wizard Tournament?" He asked. She nodded.

"Of course I do, Harry," she replied. He continued.

"It was a hard time for all the champions, especially the last task. I'll never forget that night…" She felt her heart break as he spoke.

"I know, Harry. I can't even imagine how hard it was for you." He looked away and glanced at the fire, watching the flames move.

"I remember the fight with Voldemort very well. The screams, the torture…but the thing was, I wasn't even worried about myself…"

Hermione quirked an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

"Voldemort wanted me to die, Hermione. He thought that it was going to be the last fight he would ever have with me, and Merlin knows I thought it would be the last fight too. I keep having flashbacks…memories of what happened. Sometimes I can't go back to sleep after I dream it…"

"Harry," she whispered, "you're stalling. What happened that night? What happened that night that you didn't tell us about?"

"We kept it secret," he spoke with a small smile, his emerald eyes almost back to their normal brightness, "we thought it was fun, you know? A secret just between the two of us. Sneaking into the library for a kiss, bumping into each other into the hall just to feel the touch of each other's skin…we liked each other very much…but if the public knew how we felt for each other, there would have been major controversy with the Tournament…"

_He went out with Fleur! _Thought Hermione. She didn't show her surprise though, and a kept a neutral look on her face.

"And then after the Tournament, someone found out about us, and separated us…" His voice broke and he sighed, taking a big gulp of his wine. Hermione felt anxious, as this was the end of his confession.

"After the Tournament we never saw each other again," he said. "I know it's stupid to be affected still by that relationship after all these years…"

"But you never forget your first love," Hermione said with a small smile. He smiled back.

"Yeah…you never do." He knew what he about to say would probably shock Hermione.

"Hermione," he whispered, "me and Cedric were lovers."

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So, you like, don't like? Leave a review! This is my first slash story, so I'd love to hear what you think! J


	2. Chapter 2

Here is part two! Thank you guys so much for reviewing! They really inspired me to write the next chappy! Enjoy!

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Hermione's eyes widened at what she just heard.

"You were what!"

"Hermione—"

"Harry, how long have we known each other! Why did you keep this to yourself for so long?"

"Hermione…it's a hard thing to talk about, even now…" Harry sighed and rubbed his face with his hands.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me! You kept this from me! All these years we've known each other, known each other's secrets! Harry, why did you feel you couldn't trust me with this? For TEN years?"

"This isn't about trust!" He shouted, his eyes dark with anger, "I don't want to feel this way, all right Hermione! Sometimes….sometimes.." he stopped and his voice grew softer, and he looked down at his hands, "I wish it never happened."

Hermione felt her heart break at those words.

"It's been ten years now, Hermione. Ten years! I didn't want to tell you because I've been bitter, all right? I didn't want to think about him, and telling you would be bringing him up! And you know what, while I'm here being a wreck over him, he's probably moved on! No, I know he moved on…this is ridiculous. Why can't I let it go? Why can't this…go away?"

There was an uncomfortable silence between them, and Harry had his face in his hands. After a while he raised his head and gave her a sad smile.

"I just had to tell someone, you know?" He said quietly, "I just had to finally tell _someone._ He haunts me." Hermione looked into his eyes, and saw the vulnerability there. She instantly felt guilty about her outburst.

"Harry I'm sorry…"

She watched him with sympathy and gave him a hug.

"Even though you'll never forget him Harry, you have to move on…"

"But I can't and that's the damn problem!" He yelled, getting up from his chair. He started to pace back and forth, but Hermione stayed seated.

"I still have the nightmares, and every time I date someone Hermione, I'm looking for him in every man I meet!"

His shoulders were tense and his lips was drawn into a thin line. As he paced he started to remember the day that Hermione found out he was gay. She walked in on him with someone about a year ago, and that forced Harry to confess. He made her promise not to tell anyone else, that he would tell the rest of the family when he was ready. She understood and kept her promise. Ginny also knew about Harry's secret because they had grown to be best friends over the years, and they owned a bookshop together. Besides the two women, none of the other Weasley family knew…and neither did his godfather.

Although Hermione tried her best to convince him that the rest of the family would be accepting, he couldn't help but feel anxious. The Boy Who Lived, Defeater of Voldemort and all such outrageous titles that people had given him made him have this godly image to the public. And although he knew the Weasley family didn't care about his status, he wondered if they would be as open-minded as Hermione had claimed. And his godfather…how would he take it? Would he be angry? Disappointed?

"I…let's just forget it," he mumbled, taking a seat again. Hermione felt frustrated that he didn't wish to continue talking, but didn't say anything. He didn't want to discuss it now because of the anxiety he felt for coming out to his family.

"You'll have to tell them you're gay Harry, it's not going to go away…"

"I know, it's just…I don't want to lose any of you. You're all the family I have!"

"Harry," she said with a small smile, "we'll love you no matter who you like or—"

"You cannot assume that something like this will be so easily accepted, Hermione!" He interrupted, glaring at her, "not everyone is you or Ginny!"

"But you're keeping a big part of yourself, who you are, from them! What if someone else found out Harry, and they told your godfather or family? Is that how you want them to find out? Not from you, but from a friend or stranger?"

Harry groaned in frustration and sat down.

"Listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, all right? But I can't change the past, Hermione…"

Hermione watched him carefully, and studied his features. He looked horrible. He had bags under his eyes and looked so tired.

"Harry, we'll discuss this at another time…you need to sleep."

"I can't sleep."

"Well, you'll need to sleep eventually!"

"I'm tired, Hermione, but I can't sleep! Maybe you can tell me about your latest project with Professor Snape, that always does the trick." Harry grinned as he dodged a pillow from his seat, and although Hermione glared at him, amusement was written across her features.

Although Hermione had always thought she was going to be an Auror, not surprisingly in her last two years at Hogwarts she decided to take Advanced Potions classes for extra credit. Not many people were willing to go the extra mile to get extra credit points with Snape, considering that most people would rather fling themselves in front of the Whomping Willow than be victim of the glare and sneer he did _so_ well.

But she threw all her fear to the wind and started the classes. She had not been surprised to find that Snape was still a sarcastic, miserable man, but he gave fewer threats about hexing them and tossing them out in that class. Perhaps it was because there were less students and he felt more at ease knowing that Hermione and the very few students that took the class were not well known for blowing up cauldrons.

She found that being in a less stressful environment when it came to Potions was actually quite…interesting. So interesting that she decided to pursue it as a career, and was one of the best potion makers in the country. Her partner was Professor Snape, and although they had a rocky relationship in the beginning, they've improved from uncomfortable silence to awkward conversation, then from cordial debates to a first name basis. Hermione called it progress, but Ron was still convinced that the professor would always be socially handicapped.

"Well," Hermione began, "We're working on this new potion, it's fascinating really! The Ministry really doesn't think that it will work, so we had to get funding elsewhere…" And so off she went into a frenzy, talking animatedly about her new project, and before she could get into the argument with the Ministry, Harry had fallen asleep in his chair, eyeglasses askew.

Hermione got up from her seat and got a blanket nearby, placing it as softly as she could on him.

"Goodnight, Harry."

And with that she left him to his dreamless sleep.

* * *

It was now the next morning and Harry groaned as he woke. His neck hurt from the position that he had had slept in, and he clumsily fixed his glasses. A quick glance at his clock told him he would be late for work. He cursed and quickly got dressed and did a cleaning spell on himself, and tried to fix his messy hair. He sighed as his attempts didn't work, and he left for the bookstore. 

Ginny closed her eyes, knowing she could get away with it for the moment. They hardly got any customers in the first hour of opening, so she made herself comfortable behind the counter. As soon as she heard the door open she made herself look busy, trying to look professional.

"Hello, and welcome to—oh, it's you," she said in a flat tone, hiding her smile. Harry rolled his eyes and gave a small wave.

"And good morning to you too, Ginny. Any customers?"

"What do you think?"

"Right, right." He put his coffee on the counter and gave a cup to Ginny, who grabbed it heartily. As she looked at his attire and face, she saw the weary look.

"Harry, what's wrong?" She asked. He stopped fixing some books nearby, but didn't answer.

"Come on, Harry, we're friends. And besides, I know your biggest secret. It's not like you can give me a bigger surprise than that!"

Harry quirked an eyebrow and sighed. She gave the pouty face. He hated when she gave the pouty face. When the pouty face was given all resistance was lost. And so when she promised not to tell he told her quickly, summarizing the events that happened long ago.

"WHAT!" She shouted, her eyes going into slits. Harry felt some amusement when she said that he couldn't give her a bigger surprise than telling her he was gay, but that amusement was short lived when she grabbed a book and started hitting him with it.

"Why—didn't—you—ever—tell—me—you—prat!" She shouted, hitting him with each word she spoke. Harry forgot one of the rules he made for himself:

When making a big announcement to Ginny that could potentially anger her, make sure she isn't in near or holding any books.

"Ginny! Ow! Stop it!"

"No! You jerk! We run a bookstore together! We're best friends! And you didn't tell me you had hot man sex with Cedric! Shame on you! I should get the biggest book in here and smack you with it! Or get that monster book Hagrid assigned to you all those years ago and let it gnaw on you!"

"Ginny, I—what? Did you just say hot man sex?"

"And you!" She yelled, ignoring his last comment, "you know my secret! We tell each other EVERYTHING!"

It was true, Ginny did have a secret. And boy, was it a secret. While Harry himself had this image from the public that he was a hero, etc., Ginny also could relate to him when it came to having people have this image of you that really made you uncomfortable. Ginny was still seen as innocent, could-do-no-wrong Ginny. The goody-two-shoes, the nice girl. And although she was a nice girl, she certainly did have some naughty interests. Ginny, as Harry liked to joke, led a double life, but in a sense it was true. By day she was a bookstore owner, and by night…

An adult novelist.

Harry called it soft porn, Ginny called it erotica. Whatever the word people preferred, Ginny's books sold like hot cakes.

"Ginny, I….how can I make this up to you?" He asked, knowing Ginny forgave easily. She glared at him for a moment, then grinned.

"I want details, my friend! Details! How did he kiss?" Harry groaned as he heard her make her request, but obliged. She squealed and took a gulp of her coffee.

"Man…that made my morning. But why did you guys break up?"

Harry closed his eyes from the memory, and sat down.

"It was the last day of his Seventh Year…"

* * *

_Flashback_

Harry grinned at Cedric as they walked beside each other, glad to have a few moments alone. It was an empty corridor, perfect for privacy at the moment.

"Well…this is my last day…I'll miss it," Cedric said with a bittersweet smile. Harry felt like a huge weight fell on his chest.

"Well… we can still write to each other! I'm sure you'll have tons of interesting stories to tell me while we're apart," Harry said shyly. Cedric laughed.

"Surely not as interesting as yours! You always seem to get yourself into trouble, Harry. But then again, that's one of the reasons I love you."

Harry always felt warmth throughout his entire body when Cedric said that.

"I love you too," Harry whispered. They both came closer together and kissed each other softly, but it quickly grew into something more passionate. In the middle of their embrace a new voice was heard.

"CEDRIC! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

Harry and Cedric quickly turned around, and Cedric's face instantly paled.

"F-F-Father!"

"What are you doing, boy!" He growled, stepping closer to the couple. Harry instantly grabbed Cedric's hand, ready to tell off Cedric's father for treating Cedric in such a horrible manner. Once Amos saw the small gesture of holding hands, he became enraged, grabbing his son and separating the two.

"You…you're…!" He stuttered, and Cedric looked down, almost as if he were…ashamed?

"I thought you took care of this…problem," Amos growled. Cedric looked up to his father and couldn't find the right words.

"Father, I—"

"Nevermind! And you!" He turned to Harry, giving him a glare, "you are influencing my son to act on this…behavior!"

"Father!" Cedric cried, appalled. Amos didn't listen.

"You are never to speak to my son again! And Cedric!" He turned to his son, his eyes dark.

"If you like being in this family, then I suggest some changes be made immediately!"

Cedric looked close to tears.

"I am who I am, you—"

"NO MORE!" His father screamed, "you come with me right now or you are out of this family forever!"

Harry watched with stunned eyes. He had never seen Amos this angry before. But then again he didn't know Cedric's father very well. As his father led Cedric away, Cedric was able to grab Harry hand for one last time.

"I'll write," Cedric promised as he released Harry's hand and left the corridor and out of the Hogwarts castle. Harry was about to yell at Cedric's father, but he knew it would only make things worse for Cedric. He took comfort in knowing Cedric would write to him.

He never received a letter.

_End Flashback_

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* * *

_

"And that was the last time I saw him," Harry whispered, and Ginny started to cry.

"That's so sad!" She sniffed, "That bastard!"

She quickly hugged Harry and he felt tears spring to his eyes.

"What's done is done, Ginny," he said softly, and he desperately wanted to change the subject, "how about some breakfast? My treat." Ginny sniffled, the nodded.

"Okay."

As he made his way out the door, she gave him her order and he disappeared. As soon as he was gone she started to clean up the shop, thinking about what Harry had just told her. It was clearly seen that Harry still loved Cedric after all these years…it was romantic yet sad at the same time. Why didn't Cedric write back? Did he not want to write Harry? Was he forbidden to?

As she continued to clean up she heard the door open, the bell ringing loudly through the shop. As she turned around, she dropped her books.

There, standing in her and Harry's shop, was Cedric Diggory.

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Whew! Long chappy! And another cliffie, I know. :) And don't forget to review! I would love to hear what you all think! 


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